Hello, thank you so much for being here.
Hard (for me) to believe, but 2023 marked my tenth year living in New York City—AND, remarkably, my tenth year of this on-again, off-again newsletter.
In 2014, I began writing short dispatches from #todaysoffice (mainly in Brooklyn) as a way to keep in touch with my community back in the Bay. I was getting used to working independently after a decade at Pixar and trying to find my footing in the film scene here.
Ten years, a baby, a divorce, three startups, and a legacy media company later… I returned to working independently and resurrected this newsletter. When I plotted it out, there was a clear correlation in the newsletter output in the years I was focused on my creative practice and those when I was pulled towards work/big life events.
But the real story this year, one not visible just by viewing the chart, is the sequence. I didn’t turn to the newsletter after leaving my job, I started this year off with a goal to make more of my own work again and to put it out into the world with less fear.
And I did! I wrote about my marketing executive dad not living long enough to see me become one. I wrote about watching him and my daughter sleep. I wrote an essay about how making art with my daughter helped me (finally) have the confidence to call myself an artist. I wrote of my personal favorites: 17 Reasons for 'Being Alive' So then, by the time my big marketing executive job ended in April, I had built myself back up enough to make a go of working independently (again). Woohoo!
The rest of the year was a hazy blur. I’m quite proud of the consulting work I am doing with really big companies (thanks, LinkedIn Podcast Network!) and small one-to-five-person teams. And, magically, along the way I found love with someone who delights and encourages (err challenges) me hourly. All of this is not because of this newsletter, but it’s not not because of it either.
So let’s keep this going, shall we?
With one addendum: While this newsletter has always had a plethora of spirit, it has lacked a little focus. I realized this year that part of my writer’s block is an inability to write about what it means for me to be transgender. Even typing that last sentence took much longer than it should have. I write personal essays, and I aspire to write a memoir, but I don’t know how to write about this very big part of my life. You might have noticed I recently wrote about donating to Transanta without mentioning my own trans identity. (I didn’t see the gap, the girlfriend pointed it out…) So next year, I’m leaning into what Being Alive feels like when you are transmasculine in an America that is litigating your right to exist.
I don’t know what I’m going to say, I don’t exactly know how I feel. But I’m looking forward to figuring it out with all of you.
What I’m not looking forward to is the contentious election cycle ahead. I’m dreading the way trans folks will be used to score political points. But here’s hoping that this creative exercise can foster some constructive conversation and collective action.
With that, I’m off to tidy up before the gf and the new year arrive…
Happy New Year!
xx Kyle
PS In the spirit of MAKING more this year. I designed and printed our annual holiday card on a Risograph machine. Many of you received this in the mail—drop me your mailing address if you want to be on next year’s list. Cheers!
PPS Come draw with me and
for the next 30 days! It might change your life. Drawing with the GUT changed mine. Tomorrow we start with our More/Less lists for 2024.
Your writing is interesting, courageous, funny, compelling and so much more! Happy New Year, dear Kyle! May 2024 be full of blessings and happiness!!
I love you always and unconditionally (remember A&U?) ...
Moma
Can’t wait to read more of your journey Kyle. Thank you for sharing with us 🙏 it’s an honor to read and to be a witness!